Sunday, October 07, 2007

Torturing People Part 10

Classical Conditioning -- Echoing Names ^^

Suggested Materials
1. Voice recorder
2. Small playback device

Steps:
1. Say and record the name of your victim repeatedly, making it sound as echoey as possible.
2. Burn the recording into the small playback device and plant it in your victim's usual hang-out place (including his home if possible).
3. Set the playback such that it'll play softly everytime your victim is within the vicinity.
4. Allow it to continue for days; weeks if necessary...
5. Look out for unusual behavior. ;)

Note: It'll be quite cool if your victim's name sounds like bells, alarm, or any echoing sounds.

How does it work?
Human beings, as egotistical creatures, are able to recognized the sounds of our names immediately. By allowing their names to be repeated over and over again may diminish this ability, or may induce insanity. However it is important to note that these are only a proposed results. The actual results have yet been determined.


Disclaimer:
No person or animal is harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not be held responsible for any consequences if the torture should be carried out.

Math and Science?

Math and science. What EXACTLY is math and science?
Theories? Microbiology? Material science?
Why is it that we are so obsessed about studying stuff that we can barely see and barely use?
Why isn't psychology a stream of science?
Is it not as important to know the effects of uniform has on people's creativity as it is to invent pills that can help us remember better?
Is it not as important to learn about ourselves and our minds as it it to learn about the functions of different organs in our bodies?
Is it not as important to understand common sense?
Why is it that the "hard-core" "mainstream" math and science rejects common sense, the very basis of life?
Why do they insist on generating a whole bunch of information and analysis that is only of interest to the academics?
Why do we have to feign interest in other animals when we, as egotistical creatures, are more interested in ourselves and our minds (proven by the fact that we are obsessed about our intelligence and are always wondering about the source of knowledge and consciousness)?
Science? Bleh!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Torturing People Part 9

Actually this one is more like "Killing people in a fun and innovative way" :D

Deadly sodium

Suggestd Material:
1. Sodium powder (you can choose other group II elements)
2. edible capsule


Steps:
1. Fill the capsule with sodium powder (or some other powder that you may have chosen).
2. Give it to your unfortunate victim. (or is he actually fortunate, since life is an endless series of misfortune... :D)
3. Make him swallow the pill. (be creative here, tell him that it's a stress relieve pill or something, depending on the victim's personality and interests).
4. Escape the crime scene immediately (just stay away from your victim). Watch the bloody fireworks (literally) from a distance. ;)

Note for non-chemistry people:
Sodium, and other group II elements are highly reactive chemicals. They are highly explosive when in contact with water.


Disclaimer:
No person or animal is harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not be held responsible for any consequences if the torture/kill should be carried out.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Torturing People Part 8

Inspired by Kim Chee-making biology lab session...

Let's just call it
Kim Chee-Maker :p

Target: Anyone

Suggested Material:
1 gigantic ziploc bag
Chilli powder (optional)
Garlic (optional)
Gigantic hammer (if necessary)

Steps:
1. Lure, or force, or tie and throw, your victim into the gigantic ziploc bag.
2. Stuff your victim and make sure you can actually close the ziploc bag. (This is important!)
3. Put as much chilli powder and garlic as you like. Or you can choose to not put any at all! ;)
4. Close the ziploc bag, with your victim inside.
5. Start "massaging" the bag. (It's actually just squeezing and punching it.) Make sure you get the "juice" out, it is extremely important to have the "juice". Use those gigantic hammers if you have to.
6. Leave it there for one day.
7. Put it in the fridge if you prefer it cold.
8. It's ready to be tasted! ^^

This is a really good home-econs lesson isn't it? ^^


Disclaimer:
No person or animal is harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not hold responsible for any consequences if the torture should be carried out.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Torturing people part 7

Inspired by Yi Song from SSEF

Bungey Jumping Thrill

Target: Anyone (especially those afraid of heights)

Suggested Material:
Ropes and more ropes
1 tall building or high cliff
1 gigantic boulder (optional)

Steps:
1. Lure, or force your target to the top of the building or cliff.
2. Tie one end of the rope to his/her waist, and the other anything stable that you can find where you are standing.
3. Repeat step 2 as many times and you like, with longer and longer rope. (Note: make sure the longest rope used is at most 3/4 the height of the building)
4. Push the person off the building/cliff. Listen carefully for the dupler effect. :p
5. Cut the ropes one by one, from the shortest to the longest. Appreciate the beauty of doppler effect.
6. You may or may not choose to cut the last rope, that's entirely up to you.
7. You may also choose to push the gigantic boulder off the building/cliff, whether or not you cut the last rope.

Lesson learnt: Doppler effect ^^


Disclaimer:
No person or animal is harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not hold responsible for any consequences if the torture should be carried out.

Torturing people part 6

There is no explanation for my saddistic behavior...

Gingantic Bloody Mary maker

Target: Anyone

Material: (suggested)
3 large sharp blades
1 giant cylindrical plastic container
1 cap for the container
1 base

Steps:
1. Build a gigantic juice blender with the material suggested.
2. Put your target into the juice blender. You can choose to lure him/her into the blender, or simply tie him/her and throw him/her into it.
3. Switch on the blender.
4. Watch the blending while listening to the screams by your victims.
5. After 8-10 minutes (approximately), switch of the blender.
6. Pour out the contents, and enjoy your Bloody Mary. ^^


Disclaimer:
No person or animal is harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not hold responsible for any consequences if the torture should be carried out.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Conflicts Within

Being a thinking being is really an honor, but it's also a pain. A being with thought, we think about good an evil, we generate love and hatred, likes and dislikes...

I, being a mortal, seem to be constantly stuck between like and dislike. I usually bear grudges. I can seldom control my emotions. I am not forgiving at all. Because of this, I have people that I do not like. It may be because of their character, the way they treat me, etc.

Yet sometimes, they just seem so nice! It makes me feel very guilty, for bad-mouthing about them. It makes me feel evil, guilty, terrible. I really should start looking at the angelic side of people, see the good in people, feel the kindness in people.

The ability to think is a gift, that turns rotten at the hands of evil. With good discipline, we should be able to use this gift to bring about peace and good to humanity.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Torturing people -- Special Edition 2

Another special editon! Whee!! Inspired by Belinda waiting for her parents.

Target: Kids (who are waiting for their parents to fetch them)

Steps:
1. Go to the kid, with a really nice big smile.
2. Talk to him and ask him about his parents.
3. Then loooking grave, say "Why aren't your parents here yet? Maybe they don't want you anymore..."
4. Leave the kid alone to think...

The kid would probably think, walk away, think further, then cry... Quite evil!
Advice to parents: Don't make your kid wait!!
Note: This torture is NOT advised to be carried out.

Disclaimer:
No kid or animal is being harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not hold responsible for any consequences if the torture should be carried out.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Torturing people -- Special Edition

This is called a "special edition" because it's actually for kids only. But I really don't want to start a new series. So there...

Target: Kids!!

Steps:
1. Stick stickers onto a fruit that can be consumed with the skin.
2. Tell the kid this, "It would be better if you collect the stickers in your stomach, then nobody cna steal it!"
3. Make the kid eat the fruit with stickers... Hehehezzz

Note: targeted kids will probably have to be interested in collecting stickers.
This torture is not advised to be carried out!

Disclaimer: (I really see the need to put this up this time)
No kid or animal is harmed in the process of creating this post.
Any coincidence to anyone or any event is unintentional.
The author (i.e. me) would not hold responsible for any consequences if the torture should be carried out.